So i looked at the radio

We walked through Graceland and I was getting into it. Elvis was just a fun guy to me. Gratitude for things it seemed. We got in the car and I started mentioning movies and such. We turned off Elvis Presley Blvd onto Goodman Road and I asked her if she would like to goto a movie sometime soon. 1.2.3.4.5. "I cannot........" long pause "...........my friend is coming in town and im busy." My stomach flipped. "Oh really when?" I asked. "Two weeks from now."

Weird feeling, moment of panic, "You know they have an all Elvis channel of Sirus Radio. Here let me look for it. I like Sirius radio. Oh maybe its on channel 6," I looked straight at the radio and when it hit 6 i said, "nope, 60's channel, maybe it's on 7," I adjusted to 7," nope 70's channel" I went through all the decades, through pop, rock, hiphop, and thank God we finally arrived at her apartment.

"I had a great time," she said.

I mumbled, "ok"

"Would you like to come in, oh I know your late for play practice, nevermind." she said.

I thought, "bitch," and said, "see ya."

I drove away with that feeling in my stomach.

The neighbor

I recieved a mix cd in the mail yesterday, I looked up at her apartment as the mailbox door slammed down. At the top of the hardwood steps her light was on.

"She doesn't even know I exist," I thought as a slammed the door to my apartment. I stood there listening for footsteps above and after not hearing anything I slammed the door several more times.

I heard the door of #1 unlock across the hall and the old man came out and asked,  "is everything ok?"

I said, "I think I have the flu, or a bacteria infection."

We stood there, and he told me about his mother dying when he was a boy.

I shut the door and hoped the neighbor heard how concerned I was talking to Old Man Harkins. I hoped she had her ear to the floor listening for any clues on who I might be or what type of person I am.

"I'm sure she will like me if she knew who I really was," I thought as put a cup to the wall. 

Why I substitute Mango slices for Real Beef Jerky.

Why I substitute Mango slices for Real Beef Jerky.

I woke up right before Drake and Zeke started talking on the radio, right before the sun moved over the stain in the hardwood floor, right before it turned 7:04.

Damn it was Saturday, I stumbled into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, took Welbutrin -cupping water from the sink.

“Oh Glorious day, provide me what I need to find that one I need,” I sang, while dipping my toe into a warm bath.

“Oh pretty thing, take me to your home, and buy me cottage cheese so that I might eat it from your hair,” I sung, sitting in the water.

As I Toweled off, “Dear Lord, please let me find her, so that I might dine her, and take her to meet dear old dad.”

I Walked to the couch for a slight nap, I looked and saw little bit staring at the fish, flipper and zipper.

“oh little black cat, why must you always do that, they know not your intentions?”

She meowed three times, and licked her paw.

“Oh you sly dog, or should I say goat, please find me a women so we can be together in all,” i sat and stretched and went to sleep.

A man appeared before me. He wore all white robes and slicked back his hair while standing on my coffee table.

“Hey wait a minute, do I know you?” I asked.

“No, you will be visited by a woman of great beauty, but be aware, she is not what she seems,” said the strange man.

“Ok, like what ive been dreaming and singing about?” I asked.

“Her words and actions on the outside of the flesh will be perfect to your eyes and ears.”

“Uh, does she like books, ballet, fish, cats, goats, flowers, poems, mangos and trail mix?” I asked.

“She will be perfect in all ways, all the way you will enjoy, and you will think you have found true happiness,” said the man.

“Will she wear a size 3 dress, and have brown hair and a mix of green and brown eyes, and wear cute little shoes and have two tattoos of anchors on each forearm?” I asked while I stood up becoming excited.

“She will have every cool thing this world could offer, but will not look pretentious or worldly in anyway. She will always intuitively know the correct things to say for you to love her completely.” said the man.

“Shit, when do we meet? How will I know it's her?”

“While walking, you will take a shortcut to the hardware store, through the old neighborhood of Eastland”--”but I don't know where that is?” I say interrupting.

He resumes, “you will learn many things and go many places before you meet. She will be the acid to your stomach, the water to your poop, the litter to your cat,” the man said while he raised his arms.

“Hold up, bro, you see that cat, you see those fish, you see this floor, you cannot just come in here and start telling me a load of crap just because your arms are glowing,” I said – spitting on the floor.

“Oh simple man, just take my warning, or you will surely DIE!!”

A cloud of smoke appeared, and he was gone. Little bit looked where the man had previously stood.

Meow

Meow

im e and Im an addict

Went to a treatment center tonight and saw my type of girl: hot body and strange looking face. or really just ugly, but not redneck white trash ugly, cute ugly, rich girl ugly, ah that's it. I dont know, im in love. She seems to be a hippie, and the last girl i dated was kinda of nerdy hippie girl. I like nerdie girls, those cool ones will wear you out, man. Sometimes when they are real nerdy they don't have a clue you are providing them something better than that douche bag with the tattoo on his arm he got out of the book in the front of the tattoo parlor. These nerds around here trip me out. Being a loser nerd fuck head is like most americans: they just copy what other ppl do. Trite, Banle sp. same shit over and over again. Fuck I might not look like shit head with the right fitting clothes, and im not going to say I like what I wear, or they are comfortable, becuase nerds are always saying shit like that, "at least im comfortable, I dont care what tattoo douche thinks," but i and a least one other person in this world knows you do care or you wouldn't be saying anything. WHEN YOU DONT CARE YOU DONT CARE. Fucking nerds, "I dont care what people think" Yeah you dont. I can play oblivion till my fingers bleed and learn hacker talk.

but I talk the thoughts I think, not what I think you think you want to think. Although, staying clean has giving me the ability to know what's appropriate and what's not, and it's also allowed me to see when im trying to fit in or stand out etc. Today I know the best way to maintain my integrity with ppl who are insecure is not say nothing. I use to think ppl who dont talk or have nothing to say were lame, but now I see most have nothing to say. When trying to be down with people i shouldn't give a shit about, I always catch myself thinking, "ok, what is the least racy, low key non significant thing I can say," if you go beyond that you are weird or agressive or anything but cool. FUCK YOU TATTOO FAGGOtS. THAT shit is lame.

They and them are just floating around either unaware or too scared to fix what's wrong with there lives.

Long live recovery and ugly girls. shout out to deaRp21 and KidL1dar 2. Free kevin mitnick and uzlus()#

obsession

I need to just put my mind to sleep to turn it off for a couple of months. Stop banging imaginary nails.

Of Montreal is playing down the street

I kinda want to go, and ive never been to the bar their playin at, but even though i have hope there will be fun - i know inside i will be standing alone, looking at the hot girls, seeing people i kinda know, wanting to get drunk. I have 6 other days in the week I really enjoy, why ruin the year for one show. I will listen to them instead and feel smarter and better than everyone there. Settled, now to the fish aquarium bubbling next to me. It's 30 gallons, blue and green rocks, with a neon light and a woodgrain background.

bike ride

i went to walmart on my lunch break and looked at the teeth whitening stuff, but eventually bought a bicycle seat and lock. I hate facebook, the seat is rather wide, and i didn't learn till later it would be disastrous. On my way back to the office I stopped at the volkswagon dealership to pick up a key i had left there for almost a year. A fat man with one snaggle gold tooth could not find the key after searching for sometime, and I looked at the tv in the waiting room saying breaking news; i couldn't see what it said from the showroom floor. I was bored so I asked him about leasing a new car, but it didn't seem worth it. I eventually got anoyed with him going on and on and was regretful I even asked. I wondered why he had a gold tooth. I'm sad, I went back to work, cleaning viruses, and ate a bag of almonds while finishing up. On my way home for work, I saw a women switch lanes and run a couple off the road, down into a ditch, and up a hill. There was smoke, and I knew the people in the car were afraid. I would have been afraid. The woman, i thought of her as an idiot stopped on the Interstate shoulder, and looked at the car as it smoked on the hill. I drove on and thought about how life was finite, how I would die, how we would die, how im dying.

I Scored,

       What a day, I woke up late and thought about praying down on my hands and knees leaning forward with my face on the hardwood floor. The sun was moving across the boards slowly, and I could see the dust in the air. I didn't pray. I was reluctant to run, due to having a 5k tomorrow morning, but I put on my polyester socks, shorts, and my tight black running shirt. My stomach is getting smaller, and my arms are getting bigger; i like the shirt.
       I rode my bike to the y downtown, and watched my reflection in the windows of storefronts of madison ave. It's a small bmx, and I look rather strange. I got to the gym and ran 30 mins on the treadmill, and started doing dumbbells. I heard yelling from the gym and was intrigued by the noise but was nervous to play with the black guys. I swallowed my fear, stopped lifting, slowly walked in the gym and started shooting around.
        Ive been practicing backing up to the goal, and turning around and shooting as I jump backwards --a fade away.         
        After a minute of standing around with a dumb look on my face they ask3d if i wanted to play, and I said "word" in my black voice. 
       I was freaking scared as we ran down the court, all the squeaks of the sneakers and the manly grunts. I think i would have felt about the same if I was thrown into an nba game, but I was guarding a 70 year old white guy so it could have been worse. 
       They threw him the ball and I fouled the living crap out of him as he blew past me and scored. I yelled "fuck, my bad," and my team started the looks. Anyone who blows at basketball, and insists on playing anyway knows the looks his teammates give him when they realize he sucks. 


A look of disgust i know very well. 


 I just started cussing over and over again, "fuck mother fucker, fuck" and I couldn't hold my black voice, my lungs were giving out and I started to think I was going to puke. I actually felt it coming up as they kept running, running, grunting, and yelling.
      "Should I just run out of the gym?" I thought. Pushing harder and harder they threw me the ball, and I shot with my eyes closed and my arms crossed as I recklessly released and it flew way way over the backboard. 
      Everything got quit......still.... 
1. "man that nigga," laughing cannot talk, laughing, "just threw that mothafucka." 
2. "He was scared he thought it was hot" laughing. 
3. "dumb shit was playing baseball " - said the old man.    
          Fuck it i didn't care anymore, I showed them I sucked and I had nothing to lose at that point. My nerves settled down as the players got back to business swapping points driving down the court. At one point after throwing in the ball my granps laughed as i stuck him hard, they threw the rock his direction to go in for the layup. I easily stole it and ran down the court, but i cannot dribble for shit and kept dribbling over my head which i think is a walk; they didn't call it. 
       My team yelled and screamed for me to pass the ball and i concurred. I passed to the top of the key and went underneath, I had the look of confidence and they passed the ball, i think by mistake, back to me. I dribbled with my back up to gramps, faked left, faked right and turned pulling up for the shot; it seemed like a life time as that old man left his feet. 
As we all know you cannot guard someone in the air, and any player who gets their defender to leave the ground can go any direction without interference. I did a perfect head fake and took my two steps as papaw was helplessly hanging. I heard, "go easy, man" from my teammate as the ball smashed into the bottom of the goal hitting me on the top of the head.  
    "Foul, Foul, fucking Foul," I yelled. Laughing, they ignored my complaints and threw it down court for an easy 1 point.
These pick up games are 1's and 2's up to 12. The game was tied at 6, but i couldn't breathe at all and was eying a kid on the sideline to take my place. My man was scoring all the points for the other team, and i kinda thought the big black tattooed guy on my team was going to kick my ass for being so sorry. 
       I was worthless, I had no self esteem. I started to breathe through my nose and out through my mouth and prayed, "Please Lord don't let me die out here." Strangely, my energy started to come back into my legs and arms. I started to pick up the pace. My team hit a couple of 2's and we were hanging in there. On offense, there was no way I was going to get the ball passed to me, so I had to fight for it. We shot, and I felt like I had never jumped so high in my life; it seemed like an eternity as a snatched the ball out of the air, coming down hard with a grunt and a raaaaa putting the ball back up. It hit the back of the board, bounced around the outside of the rim, hit the board again, and went in. "Finally!!!!!!!!" I yelled. The other team threw the ball in quick pushing it down the court and my man, the seventy year old, some kids grandfather pulled up for a 2 and swished it. "mane, shit" i heard as I walked to the gym doors. The other team won the game. The big black guy, with that new modern mohawk thing you see on young black men these days, and all the tattoos said, "good game, whiteboy-- nice shot at the end"
"Yeah, yeah, good game mane," I responded.
He looked at me funny and smiled. I got the fuck out of there before I killed the high. It was the biggest rush Ive experienced in a long time maybe since I was 10 years old; it was fucking awesome. I went back upstairs but just couldn't focus on anything but the game. I turned around and skipped out the front doors jumped on my bike and rode back home with a smile on my face. "I scored," and dude said "good game," I thought over and over again riding down Madison with my reflection in the barbershop and auto part store windows. "I scored"

review of walgreens sexual wedge

Product: Liberator Wedge/Ramp Combo Black 1ea. by Liberator

Submitted at: Walgreens

Review Status: Pending

Hides nicely under couch

by Mike Simpson from Memphis Tennessee on 4/9/2009

Pros:

Heightens Stimulation, Prolongs Performance, Mutually Satisfying, Functional

Cons:

Smells Bad

Best Uses:

Intimate Settings

Describe Yourself:

Budget Buyer

The first time we used this product we forgot to put it up after a night sensual love making, and we woke up to the dog ripping and chewing the insides. We assume it was all the sweat and seamen that made our canine so aggressive. After disciplining the dog, we immediately went to Walgreens for another. The new product is even better. Do they make one for animals?

http://www.walgreens.com/store/pickcolor.jsp?CATID=304799&navAction=jump&navCount=3&skuid=sku2975865&id=prod2977032#ReviewHeader

Mike Simpson works with me, I should have put his cell phone on there too. He's nice.

plenty of fish profile

I like making profiles on dating sites more than dating:

Interests

reading

dating sites

About Me

Im actually looking for my girlfriend and if i find her on her im going to bite her face and kill her dog.
******************
A good friend of mine did that do his girlfriend and went to jail for 9 months at the penal farm, but man was he swoll when he got out. I didn't know what he meant when i first heard him say "swoll," I thought it meant sick or something, but it means big muscles. I want big muscles, so im going to bite my girlfriend's face and kill her dog.
***************
Actually, he was up for 7 days on meth when he did it, and I dont do drugs. Maybe I can just skip that part, or just stay up for 7 days without meth. He tells me the story a lot, about how he got out of prison and slept on his friend's garage floor for 9 months, and got himself all cleaned up off dope. We laugh about the dog these days.
**************
He's christian now, and says how drug addiction was easy to get in, but hard to get out; that's also a phrase he picked up in prison usually referenced to prison and not drugs.
***************************
Now to think of it, I like having friends more than a girlfriend, cause I usually just freakout and go physco on most, but only if i like them. Man if I like it's nuts. If dont like em i dont do anything but play video games and social network.
***********************
I hate video games.

First Date

makeout, stare at the floor, shake in the bathroom, wished i drank alcohol, consider drinking alcohol, ask my date to please drink some alcohol.

kidtangerine Appears on 0 members favorites lists and has 2 roses that can be sent.

Jolie Holland

I like her and she looks like my neighbor, Nicole. http://www.jolieholland.com/biography/

Ive been lying a lot lately, and I need a new story to tell at treatment centers. There just seems like nothing to say, and I know you are saying but they have never heard it. Well, I'm so bored with it, I cannot be passionate enough to portray a horrible set of circumstances, and the farther I get away from it, time wise, it doesn't seem that bad. Of course I'm referring to my mental and emotional bottom, that most recovering addicts experience, and the events leading up to it.

I try my best to make it entertaining, and it's certainly more of a ego boost when the patients laugh.

It's weird how the audience reacts, certain jokes or anecdotes can knock them dead sometimes an then the same jokes go over like turd punch other times. Surely, comedians and public speakers know exactly what I'm talking about. Maybe, it's all about delivery. Audiences get in group thought or some shit, because I've been in meetings where they laughed at everything, shit that wasn't even funny. in fact, what I'm going for is the laugh laugh ahhhh audience. The two two one approach refined by writer, public speaker, and preacher Joel Olstein, see http://dirtapp.homeunix.org:2300 and look at the section where Olstein tells his formal for converting Christians to Capitalism. Basically, the approach works by pulling the audience in and making the feel comfortable with humor, showing them you are fallible, a human, dragging them along through the debauchery and chaos, and at the height of the laughter, hit them with despair; giving them a thought provocing emotion rollarcoast. Then lightly end with getting a new car, job, and girlfriend letting them think it's going to be ok, and hopefully herding them in 12 step recovery. I mean shit, I gotta do something at night besides smoke pot and watch tv , so I need women at those meetings to look at.

me talk crazyp

i was reading a david sedaris book, with the Van Goh picture on the front, and i decided i wanted to tell blogger.com about this guy i saw driving once; i was at southern and highland, of course near memphis state, and this twenty something guy in an old white or tan car pulled up next to me and as i glanced over he pointed to a tv in his dashboard. I imeditelly assumed he had recently bought this electronic and he was kinda bouncing up and down with a huge smile on his face. This happend more than 9 years ago, and I still remember how excitefd he was about that fucking tv. I felt sorry for him then, and still even now, but realize im the only one feeling anything about that situation and he feels nothing. I think he had gold teeth too. I wonder what he's doing right now? He's probable pissed off about something.
Do you believe in God?

techo

so i ran from my house to ymca downtown, 2.7 miles, and worked out for 30 mins on weights, and then rode a stationary bike for 30 mins, and ran back home. I felt like a bad ass. I saw my friend Juan at the gym, and he was acting gayer than normal, kinda had a sparkle in his eye I could tell what he looked like as a child. He pissed me off, bringing up the ballerina, I cannot hear that girl's name without a circus going off in my stomach, fuck, it just happened. I obsessed the whole run home. It was like I wasn't even on Madison, but fighting imaginary men who want to destroy my ego. The ones I couldn't beat up, I pulled a gun on. Today I know I am completely insane. Is there medicine for this shit?

Doing H&I tonight at Parkwood in Olive Branch, im going to get hopped up on some coffee before hand and tell a bunch of lies. Hell yea, At this moment what is lacking?

Techo, or whatever it's supposed to be called is the best for working out.

What's up?

I make many references to a gal who got me good, and when she get's me it's fool's thoughts, but I dont care, cause she don't even know, im the only one who's showing anything and it's in my brain. A friend told me the other day im starting to sound black when I talk, and I was kinda of excited cause whenever I get to do my own thing, meaning when no one is guiding me I always go back to black culture for some reason. So if I sound black it means I know myself. I am Hard. Something inside cries rejection of what the world gives me, all the kids in my neighborhood turned into wiggers and I listened to punk rock and didn't take baths, not cause I really liked it, but it fit in perfectly with my reaction to poverty. Anyway, that shit is not really important, what is important is what I was talking about when my NA friend told me I sounded black, he was telling me how he was trying to get off lexapro, and his doctor told him to go from 20, to 10 mg's in one day!!! I was like, "nigga what, mane that dood don't know shit bout getting off some flour, mane mane, how many times he done a detox, stupid ass nigga, tell dat nigga you gunna start parchutting in 5's nigga at 3 week intervals." He was like, "but he's my doctor, and i trust him. Why are talking all black?"

I was talking like that cause he was acting stupid and that's how I talk to stupid people. "I trust my doctor." Does he trust you? Has he ever taken lexapro? Has he ever done a detox? Does he put his pants on one leg at a time? Some people make me sick with their stupidity.

I look

I look really cool today but don't want to look in the mirror too much cause my mind's imagine is so good. I have on brown pants, white shoes, black coat over a blue hoodie with a gray wool hat. I like how the blue hood hangs out of my coat. I feel urban so I went to the store to cure my caffiene headache and I walked the long way, upto madison, and down to the circle k on mclean. it's about 40 degrees outside, and I saw a guy i know, but i didn't stop, justed smiled and kept walking. he looked cool too, guess it's the weather, I got a starbucks sugar drink, and I thought about calling the store clerk a bitch just to see her reaction. I had on headphones and I couldn't hear anything she said. I downed the drink in front of the store and through the bottle in the trashcan outside the door. I listened for glass breaking but the basket was empty. I turned on mclean and tried to smile. I wanted bad for this one girl to see how happy I was as I walked down her street; enjoying life and such. I couldn't decided if i should stare at the ground to show introspection or look up and smile to portray carefreeness, but I almost walked into a street sign one time on mclean lookin at the ground trying to show the same effect and fear is good reminder. I alternated, while looking at all the cars hoping to show my new attitude on life. I didn't see that whore or she snuck by as I watched the ground. I saw a wicker basket broken without a bottom.

there's the girl who left me bitter

Man oh man, why do i always date girls who have Macintosh ies sp. maybe I will find some girl who runs Linux and beat her till she's dead. Lifeless. Some girls are really hot, but I know a microwave is just a microwave no matter how you spin it. It's 22 Degrees Fahrenheit in Memphis, it's so fucking cold I cannot go outside for more than 2 minutes before the bottom of my feet fell like I'm walking on ice barefoot. Some music is really good, but I know a beautiful pictures is just paper and plastic when it's torn all to peices. Wait maybe I should have said that about hot women, well anyway, same for them. I'm such an ass, I ask self rightous girls to name 5 women inventors, ha, that always get them rilled up, and everyone always says Madame Currie; that bitch wasn't an inventor, her husband did the work anyway, he was just too much of a pussy to stand up to that whore. Wow, I'm knocking em down today.

Here's my track list for a girl I'm trying to be in love with: well actually it's up there, I got this one. this is going to put the nail in the coffin.

Ribbit Wrog aka Ray Ray Rooster

Bummer, I have a headache and a feeling I'm making a huge mistake. All I want is to be in a band and have some teenagers kiss my ass, but my rap-blues-heavy metal band isn't doing so good since we don't have a drummer or a singer or a band name. All I have is Little Woodgrain, and all he can do is rap really fast, but I have hope that one day even my dad will be on the keyboard. I think im going to puke. This kinda reminds me of being hungover, but all I took was prestiq, supposedly some new wonder drug for depression. I stayed up playing "telephone" with a new lady friend and today I want to die. 2.5 hours late to work, and I didn't even get high. Strange how my life can get unmanageable just from staying up late. I use "just" to much. I need (blank)

stomach

Shut that shit up, you whinny little bitch. Who cares it smells like smoke. Why don't you whine to yourself for getting stuck in a job you hate, it aint my fault. It aint my fault, tell me lies tell me sweet little lies, just tell me. What's the deal with minutes being in 60's and seconds being the same. I keep stopping the gas at 59 cents. But there is milliseconds? WTF. Great being in love, misery brings good blogs, or poverty or both, and just for today im not experiencing anything but laziness, and hate; the ususally stuff. Bitch I'll kill you, Manson would make the family play this weird mind game where he would be walking around the farm and all of sudden he would make the members inmitate or copy every movement he made. So he would stop someone walking by, and raise his left hand and they would have to copy the exact movement. He would then move his head, or his other arm and the game would go on and on. I heard this from one of the women who was serving life in prison for killing for him, and I gained a little respect for that guy. Pimp's up, Hoes down.

This weekend I wanted to throw my life away, but instead I just transfered 200 dollars to my e-trade account. Things were good last week with my amd investment but that's all over this week with the volitile economy. Surely it will come back up, if that shit heads says one more fucking word about the cigarette smoke im going attack his computer with the ping of death.

I hate this blog and would deleted it if it mattered, but it would be like ripping a page out of diary, who cares?

trust verses truth

Well I will give you two for my one or five for the three.

I walked behind a large cloud of smoke and changed sides of street cause black people scare me sometimes. I looked into a window for anything I could relate to, and saw absolutely nothing worth seeing. I do that in life and then get surprised likes it's a sign that I need to be looking for it. There was nothing in that shitty apartment for me to see. I got around some normal people but it only turns out I was the normal one when the pipe and alcohol started to run through their bloody sores. Pus all over the table and the clams came out or were they oysters. Little muscle fibers with shreds of life still moving. Man, I know Just for Today it doesn't matter what I say or how it sounds. I felt like an outsider as they laughed and talked about people I dont know. I cannot believe I asked that girl over, if Little Woodgrain hadn't of showed up and insisted upon Open Mic night I might still be sick from the consequences. Write a line and deleted it, there is no fucking way i'm going to sit here all day, just to much coming and going to be productive. Man, maybe I will go home and play some Rock Band, maybe I will bust out the swiffer in the DataCenter, I like the way it smells.